It’s not been easy for several weeks, between my husband and me. I could feel the tension and dissatisfaction emanate from him and I was dealing with my own dissatisfaction within our marriage as well as my inner personal dissatisfaction. I felt it was my responsibility to start communicating how I was feeling; husbands are not good mind readers. So,
I Came Home For Lunch….
I had an especially long lunch to take today and decided it would be a perfect time for Hubby and me to finally connect. As we sat and ate I started to share my feelings. UGH! This was not going well! Was it me? Was it him? Whoever it was it got to a place of, Stop! We need to focus on what we want to accomplish and not nitpick at each others statements.
I am so very grateful that my husband doesn’t want to fight, he’s mature and will, in most cases, listen and refocus on what’s important.
Our conversation drifted from a defensive stance, from both of us, to the heart of what was going on. I shared my feelings regarding our financial situation as well as the DD part of our lives.
Regarding DD, I let him know that if it was too much of a strain on our marriage to take care of ttwd around the kids and life in general then we needed to change course. My reasons were; that I can’t handle the waiting for days for a discipline and when I do, it causes me to ride an emotional roller coaster. DD here today and gone the next is simply too hard for me emotionally. To make matters worse, my attitude takes a downward spiral and I begin to “brat”, so not like me!
He mentioned swearing and other things I do that make him sad. I admitted to him that I had not been honest regarding my needs and instead I had been going out of my way to get his attention with bad behavior.
When I mentioned us stopping DD a second time he responded with, “We can’t, you’re like the women I met when I spank you. Without, you’re not as vibrant”. I couldn’t agree more! It also helps me stay connected and live with a healthier frame of mind.
When the conversation was over and we were feeling as if we had gotten somewhere, can you guess what he said? Let me help you out, “You need to move to the chaise, bend over, place your hands on the cushion and wait for me.”
I was shocked and asked, “Why?” Remember, I was only on a lunch break and I had to leave in less than 30 minutes.
He replied, “For bratting and swearing”
Reluctantly, I forced my feet to move my body from the kitchen to the chaise in the living room. This is one of the hardest parts for me, moving into position. There I stood, head down, hands on the chaise, one knee slightly bent. He spoke to me for a few moments and I dropped to my knees to lean on the chaise, when I was asked, “Did I say you could drop to your knees?”
“No, sir” I replied and I stood back up. I feel silly and awkward waiting like this.
He left, returned then asked if we had discussed everything and if we were okay. I answered, “Yes” then he pulled my pants down. My mind raced about how bad this was going to hurt. Then he paused. I had to ask, “What are you doing?” He informed me that he was making sure the spanking from the other day hadn’t left bruises. Then I remembered that I had one more topic, of all times to remember! And so, looking face down at the cushion, pants halfway down my legs and the first sting of the wooden spoon on my behind, I spoke up.
I have never been spanked with the wooden spoon bare bottomed. OMG! A much different sting and very unpleasant! We finished my topic in between swats and then he asked, “How many was that?” A question I hate! I can’t keep count, bent over, with a conversation taking place, while my brain is in total panic as to whether to make me breathe or not to breathe.
I was doing much better about standing still than usual. He only had to tell me to put my foot down twice. I didn’t fall to my knees and he didn’t have to hold me in position. The harsh sting of the spoon had tears spilling down my face in a few strokes and every muscle in my body was tense. In fact he only gave me 15, but it felt like more!! And I wasn’t allowed to rub afterward, this is new!
When he was finished I was told to stay in position. There I stood bent over rear in the air and feeling very submissive. When he left the room I thought he would bring lotion to help my bottom recover, I was wrong! When he came back he simply pulled my pants back up and hugged me. Yikes, my bottom was warm and radiating heat.
When all was said and done it felt good to bury my body into his and have him hold me. It felt good knowing we were okay and back on track. Then he offered to let me nap for the last 15 minutes of my break. I took him up on his offer and I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes for a few moments of rest. After the alarm went off I got up and walked to the bedroom to get my coat. He followed me, gave me another hug and said, “Now, I’m horny.” I smiled, giggled and headed to work. It was great to see his smile and hear his desire to be affectionate! I am only sorry that I took to bratting and not talking about what had been bothering me earlier. If I had, we might have avoided this bump.